Something Personal….Talking About Feeling Broken

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There is so much noise about the topic of self-improvement/help that it can feel overwhelming!  It almost seems as if there is a to-do-list that we have to complete each day for self-love and happiness.  I love to keep a planner, write to-do-lists and jot down reminders on sticky notes.  It keeps me organized with all of the little things I need to accomplish each day.  But what about the to-do-lists that we sometimes have floating around our minds, dictating us about what we “should” do?  I should write affirmations this morning.  I should do yoga.  I should eat something healthy.  I should put on a smile . . . . even though I feel broken inside.

I once did all the things that made me appear really healthy.  Now, when I look back at pictures from that time in my life, for a second I forget the broken person that I was inside.  Put simply, I didn’t feel like I was good enough.  It is easy to start comparing ourselves to our peers or people on social media.  This wasn’t the reason for my brokenness, and I am still not sure what I felt I wasn’t good enough for.  When I left for Savannah last Fall, I left behind the cocoon I kept around myself that made me feel safe.  In a way, this was the beginning of me choosing to not stay broken.  Sometimes the seemingly stable routines, rituals, and images that we create for ourselves are the walls that keep out the light of new possibilities.  I don’t want to give anyone the wrong idea….this year there have been many times where I have felt sad, lonely, or afraid.  Little by little, I am trying to shift my perspective.  If I don’t do something that I feel like I should do, or avoid trying something because I am afraid, I remind myself to open my heart.

With an open heart, we can keep moving forward, moving past the walls we’ve created for ourselves.  It is happening exactly like Dr. Wayne Dyer said, “Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change.”  For me, I am finding that believing there is constant light and love surrounding us is helping me heal the brokenness I so often feel.  It is longer lasting than completing an impossible list of health rituals each day, because light and love is infinite, everlasting, and forgiving.

We are only limited when we think things should be a certain way, or that they already are.  And what I am trying to say is that by believing in a higher power, we can change this way of thinking; and we can open our hearts to the light and love that is around us right now, in this very moment.

Thank you so much for reading,

Carly xx